Archive for January, 2008
What the Hell, Taco Bell? Redux
Something strange has been going on lately at our local Taco Bell establishments.
Recently, someone has decided that the drive thru conversations needed a total shake-up, and the change doesn’t seem to be for the better. Or for the quicker.
When I’ve pulled up to the speaker box, the first thing I am greeted with is "Hi! How are you today?" This has already extended the length of time you’ll be at the speaker because typically your response will be something like "Fine thanks" or "Good, and you?".
This is not how it should work at drive thrus. If you want to greet me when I walk up to the register in your store that’s one thing, that’s human interaction. But doing it through a speaker box is just wasting time. If I wanted to meet and greet with you, I’d come inside.
Now if I say "Fine thanks", the person on the other end says nothing, waiting a full 15-20 seconds or so before finally saying "Great! Please go ahead with your order." If I say "Good, and you?" (which is instinctively what I usually say) they’ll eventually reply with something like "I’m good, thank you" and then nothing, again pausing for 15-20 seconds before saying "Go ahead with your order".
So I’ll place my order, but have found that if you don’t conclude your order by saying "and that’s all", the person will not respond for a good 30 seconds or so. If you give your order and just stop talking, they will wait almost half a minute before saying "will that complete your order?" YES! Hence why I stopped talking!!
Once I arrive at the actual window, the "conversation" takes another bizarro turn. Suddenly I become "baby" and "honey" to the person taking my money. They’re all "Thank you honey" and "do you want any hot sauce baby?" and "It’ll be just a moment longer sugar". Have they all gone through southern belle training or something? The hell?
This has happened to me at three different local Taco Bells. Is this some sort of goofy corporate mandate that all drive thru order takers have to make the whole process awkward? I just want my stomach ailment food.
Christmas ’07 Makes Christmas ’81 Its Bitch
This Christmas was a pretty damn good one as far as Chuck Christmases go. One of the best actually. And it’s strange how similar it was to the other "best" Christmas I can remember.
My most memorable childhood Christmas was in 1981. There were the usual assortment of toys and other things, but none of them stand out today like the "big" present that Santa brought that year. Hell, I couldn’t tell you anything else I got to be honest.
Inside my Christmas stocking was a note from Santa which read "There’s a surprise for the entire family. It’s in the hall closet." I scurried my pajamaed feet out into the hallway and once everyone had arrived I opened the door. Inside was a brand new Atari Video Computer System (later known as the Atari 2600). Polaroids exist somewhere of me pretending to faint from the excitement.
I was an annoying kid.
Anyway, that was a pretty awesome Christmas, and one that was practically unmatched until this last one. This year I purposely asked for no presents, because we’ve got a house to buy and move into. I felt guilty asking for little trinkets and things knowing that in a few months they’re all just going to have to be boxed back up.
Well even though I asked for nothing, I got things. Fun things. Things I will use and enjoy a great deal.
Then after everyone had opened their presents we got to the stockings. Inside mine was a small box, the kind you put earrings or other tiny objects inside. Cool, earrings!
So I open ‘er up and inside my beautiful bride-to-be has placed a key fob for her car. Okay, I get it… earlier in the year I’d given her the spare key fob for my car, and now she’s doing the same for me. Awww, and about damn time too.
"You have to push a button," she tells me.
"What?"
"You have to push a button."
"I’m aware how these things work…"
"No, you have to go out to the car and push a button. Not the alarm, not unlock, and not lock."
That left the button that opens the trunk. So I stumbled out to the garage and hit the trunk button. The trunk opened. And inside is a big ol’ box containing Rock Band for the Xbox 360.
Best. Gift. Ever.
Turns out that I’d casually mentioned wanting to buy this monstrosity of electronic rocking simulation while in Target one day, and my sweetie took notice. It was a hot ticket item this Christmas, but she went on a mission and tracked it down. And now it’s mine. And it’s awesome. Totally didn’t see it coming.
We played it at work practically non-stop during our downtime last week, and it is a total blast when you get a good group together. I love this game. Love it, love it, love it. Not as much as my fiancée though.
But more than the Atari 2600.