Smarmy Jerkface Dot Com

This story is such bullshit.

BENSALEM, Pa. (CBS/AP) – How desperate was Susan Finkelstein to have World Series tickets?

VERY desperate, investigators say. So desperate, in fact, they say the 43-year-old suburban Philadelphia woman posted an ad on the Web site Craigslist in which she described herself as a "gorgeous, tall, buxom blonde diehard Phillies fan" desperately seeking Series tickets, according to CBS station KYW-TV in Philadelphia.

Her ad, according to police, suggested she'd offer something extra. "I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!"

The price was apparently negotiable.

What sealed the deal was when an undercover officer responded to the digital ad, and Finkelstein allegedly offered to perform various sex acts in exchange for the coveted tickets. Police did not say precisely what this Phillies fanatic was willing to do to see her beloved team play the Yankees.

No, Finkelstein didn't get the tickets. Instead, she was arrested and charged with prostitution, and got her face plastered across television — and on Crimesider.

If you happen to have extra tickets we suggest you look elsewhere. Finkelstein's listed phone number has been disconnected.

Hope she's out in time to watch the game.

I just think this is a waste of resources. There are 20-30 ads posted to Craigslist every day in every city offering full blown prostitution, but this is the lady that gets busted? Please. Don't even get me started on why this shouldn't even be illegal in the first place. But does a die-hard baseball fan really deserve this treatment? No she does not.

It’s over folks. And I firmly believe that America is the big winner tonight. Let’s see what these guys can do. I’m excited to find out.

John McCain’s concession speech was the best speech of his entire campaign. It was as if he instantly reverted back to the McCain of old. The McCain we all wanted to embrace in 2000 before the Bush machine obliterated him.

I found it odd that his exit theme song was the end title music from Crimson Tide.

Oh, and Sarah Palin? Please go away. Back to Alaska. And stay there. Thank you.

Are happy days here again? I certainly hope so.

So I haven't talked about our household's recent switch from Comcast (boooo!) to Direct TV (yay!).

It was a no brainer.  Direct TV is cheaper, a better value, higher quality, and has customer support that's 1,000 times better than Comcast.

And tonight I've found yet another kick-ass-tacular feature of Direct TV.  Check this out:

That's the Direct TV 2008 HD Election Mix.  All on one screen you get the four networks, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and BBC America… all in HD.  You highlight which screen you want to listen to the audio feed from.  At the bottom is a blog feed highlighting all the main bullet points from the networks.

This.  Rules.

UPDATE: At 10pm, Direct TV replaced BBC America with Comedy Central.  It just keeps getting better.

Today's the day, folks.  Get out there and vote!

Me?  I voted early.  Last Saturday I waited in line for over an hour to cast my ballot, which upon being scanned into the machine was no doubt shredded, burned and buried. 

So go avenge my vote!

A growing trend in the media today is featuring news stories that seem to be completely devoid of any useful information whatsoever.  Take this story for example.  It seems as though people out there are having sex with their friends!  On college campuses no less!  Friends… with benefits!  Oh noes!

And as a result of this friend sex, some of them stop being friends, some of them get romantically involved, some of them just stop having sex, and some of them keep on getting their freak on.  I am shocked.  And outraged.

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) – A University of Florida student who was shocked with a Taser after persistently questioning Sen. John Kerry won’t face criminal charges and has apologized for his actions, his attorney said Tuesday.

Andrew Meyer, 21, yelled "Don’t Tase me, bro!" as he scuffled with officers during the on-campus speech last month. In letters to the university, its president and the campus police department, he apologized, attorney Robert Griscti said.

"I made the decision to supersede the rules, and for that I apologize," Meyer wrote. "I should have acted calmer and obeyed the directives of the officers. If I had, none of the subsequent issues would ever have arisen."

Prosecutors had no immediate comment.

Meyer demanded a chance to question the former Democratic presidential candidate about the 2004 election and his and President Bush’s alleged involvement in the secret Skull and Bones society when they were students at Yale University in the 1960s.

Officers rushed Meyer after he kept shouting questions, finally shocking him in a scuffle captured in at least 19 video clips.

Segments distributed online – including Meyer’s now-famous yell – won immediate attention. The officers involved returned to work last week after the Florida Department of Law Enforcement determined it was an appropriate use of force.

University police had recommended Meyer be charged with resisting arrest with violence, a felony, and disturbing the peace and interfering with school administrative functions, a misdemeanor.

In his letters, Meyer denied allegations he intended to cause a scene.

"I’m so sorry that I lost my control in that auditorium," he wrote. "I went there to ask an important question. The question of voter disenfranchisement in America cuts to the heart of our democracy, and my failure to act calmly resulted in this important town forum ending without the discourse intended. For that, I am truly sorry."

Meyer, a communications major, said he was taking a leave of absence but would return to school in January. He pledged to Bernie Machen, the Florida president, that he learned from the incident.

"I am a far more reasoned individual than I was a short while ago, and the reasoned response of the university has helped me a great deal," Meyer wrote.

Well I can’t say I’m shocked (heh), but as it turns out, University of Florida police were justified in using a Taser against a student who refused to stop questioning Sen. John Kerry on campus last month, according to a state investigation that was released Wednesday.

Good.

For those of you who think this was an unlawful arrest, let’s go over some of the facts.  First, here’s the reason the douchebag was detained, according to the report:

The UPD’s initial contact with (Meyer) and subsequent arrest was for violation of Florida State Statute;

877.13 Educational institutions or school boards; penalty for disruption.–

(1) It is unlawful for any person:

(a) Knowingly to disrupt or interfere with the lawful administration or functions of any educational institution, school board, or activity on school board property in this state.
(d) To conspire to riot or to engage in any school campus or school function disruption or disturbance which interferes with the educational processes or with the orderly conduct of a school campus, school, or school board function or activity on school board property.
(3) Any person who violates the provisions of this section is guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.

Pretty clear cut.  The report then says that the officers’ intent was to escort Meyer from
the room, but he freed himself and continued to refuse to follow the
officers’ instructions.

The report goes on to say that officers did not want to use pepper spray on Meyer because the room was crowded with spectators who could have indirectly been affected by the release of the chemical. They also concluded during the incident that using force to restrain Meyer might have hurt him more than a taser, and that escalating to hard empty hand strikes, kicks, knees or the baton would have looked like the officers were beating Meyer into submission.

"In short, the FDLE determined that our officers acted well within state guidelines," university President Bernie Machen said in a letter to students, faculty and staff.

The report also goes on to document Meyer’s predisposition for acts of douchebaggery.  While concluding that Meyer’s website containing stunts and other nonsense was protected speech under the First Amendment, public incidents prior to the Kerry event were brought to light. 

A week before, at a rally for supporters of Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, Meyer was seen by several witnesses kicking signs and acting "boisterous and provocatively".  Meyer then had a confrontation with a female student and was overheard saying to an unidentified friend that if they liked what he’d just seen "then he should go to the Kerry speech and he would really see a show".

Also in the report is the timeline of events that led to the taser attack.  Meyer had been warned repeatedly while in line to ask Senator John Kerry a question that if he didn’t calm down, campus police would be summoned.  There is an initial confrontation with police (not seen on any videos) but then the officer and Kerry allow Meyer to ask his question anyway.  When he starts rambling on about President Clinton receiving a blow job, one of the administrators of the event makes a gesture to have his microphone cut off.  When this happens, Meyer continues to babble and the officers then attempt to remove him from the auditorium.  Meyer resists, breaks free, tries to return to the front of the room, and eventually gets tased for acting like a total jackass.

While en route to jail, Meyer didn’t realize that he was being recorded.  He tells the officers that they didn’t do anything wrong, and then asks if there will be cameras at the jail.  He calls his father twice from jail, and both calls are also recorded.  According to the tapes he is elated that the events have taken place.

So those of you who have championed this kid as some kind of hero in the face of an unjust and corrupt police state, take note.  He went into the event with the intention of disrupting it, didn’t comply with officers when both asked to leave and when being removed physically, resisted arrest, and got his ass tased as a result.  And now he’ll probably find a way to profit from his internet catchphrase.  He’s not a victim folks, just a douchebag.

Dear winning team,

I don’t much care for you.  I don’t much care for the losing team either.  Yesterday’s election results remind me of the Who lyric "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss" from Won’t Get Fooled Again.  None of it really matters.

But you people on the winning team think it does, and now you have a little bit more "power" for the next two years (and potentially a little more depending on how a few more races play out). 

So… fix it.  Do what you say you’re going to do.  Fix things.  You have two years.  Get to it.