Smarmy Jerkface Dot Com

So I turned 34 on Monday, and one of the gifts my lovely bride bestowed upon me was the gift of satellite radio.  Well, the idea of satellite radio.  Turns out this stuff is complicated, and so research needed to be done to determine exactly what we wanted.  I had been given homework as a gift.

Sirius and XM Radio merged recently, but they still provide two different channel lineups.  So the first order of business was to compare the two and figure out exactly which one gave us everything we wanted.  I printed up each lineup and eliminated every channel that both services share.  When I was done, there were a few channels that XM offered that Sirius did not.  So XM won.  We purchased our equipment and patiently waited for it to arrive.

I know people have been upset with the content on Sirius/XM after the merger, but for me it'll still be better than what we have now.  I want to be able to tune to CNN in the car when something big is going down.  I want to be able to listen to a channel that has more than three Genesis songs in the small box of records it plays over and over and over again.  And commericals… Jesus Christ Monkey Balls do I hate modern day radio commericals.

It was delivered last night, and after spending the night fiddling with settings and getting things activated, this morning was my first real experience with all the new entertainment options.  That led to this text conversation between myself and my beautiful bride as I was heading in to work:

Me: Snow!
Bride: What?
Me: He's on the radio!
Bride: Who?
Me: LOL.  SNOW!
Me: He was a Vanilla Ice wannabe.
Bride: I think this qualifies as our Strangest Conversation Evah

Turns out Snow was actually a Canadian reggae artist.  But he sucked like a Vanilla Ice wannabe.  You can learn more about Snow (and others) by visiting your local Wikipedia.

Of course things can't be easy, knowing me.  The day after we committed to getting satellite radio, it was reported that the company is considering bankruptcy thanks to their insane amount of debt.  Whee.  Rumor has it today though that Sirius/XM has reached out to DirecTV for investment help, and that's actually a bit of good news.  Who knows.  I can't imagine a service with 20 million subscribers would go under.

But I'll go month to month until they sort out their nonsense.  Snow!

To whom it may concern,

I would like to voice my extreme displeasure in regards to the launch of the iPhone 3G, specifically your role in the process.

I own the original iPhone but was interested in upgrading to the iPhone 3G, and have been interested in upgrading since the launch of Apple’s new device.  However after Saturday I am no longer as interested as I was.  I may no longer be interested at all, in fact.

I wish I could have been in your boardroom when the decision was made to exclude so-called "business" customers from being able to purchase a new iPhone at an Apple store, because I’m wondering if anyone at all spoke up and said "but this makes no sense, and doesn’t benefit out customers in the slightest". 

As it turns out, I am one of those "business" customers.  But what does that mean exactly?  In my case, all it meant was that my place of business offers its employees a small discount on their AT&T wireless service as a perk.  However, the iPhone does not allow for any monthly discounts, so I have not been receiving any benefits from this "business" account for about a year now.  It is just a worthless code on my account, nothing more.

In any case, thanks to the internet I was made aware of your idiotic business account/iPhone upgrade policy early on, and called AT&T customer service over two weeks ago to have this meaningless designation removed from my account.  I was told it could take up to 4 hours to be cancelled but that the matter was taken care of.

This past Saturday I noticed that for the first time since launch, the Apple store in my area showed that they had the iPhone in stock.  So I went to purchase one.  After standing in line in the Florida afternoon sun for 15 minutes to get a claim ticket, which would allow me to stand in line in the Florida afternoon sun for an additional 2 hours to then enter the store and purchase an iPhone, I was told that I have a business account and need to purchase an iPhone at an AT&T store.  I explained that I had called weeks ago to have this removed, and if they would give me a claim ticket I’d take care of the matter while I waited in the 2 hour line.  I was told I could not even get a claim ticket until the account was clear. 

I left in disgust.

When I called customer service on my way home from the Apple store, I was told that the discount had been removed, but yet my account was still designated as a business account for some reason.  Neat-o.  Even if I’d still been eligible to receive a discount, it was gone.  So the only benefit remaining on my account was being unable to purchase an iPhone.  Thanks!

What I can’t even begin to fathom is why this rule exists in the first place.  I cannot buy an iPhone with this discount on my account, but as soon as I remove it and activate the phone I can call right back and re-add the discount immediately?  What sense does this make?!  How does this benefit your customers? 

People wonder how huge corporations have lost the trust and faith of their customers… well this is one of the reasons.  Making us jump through hoops just for the right to continue to hand you our hard-earned money is disheartening.  No wonder so many people are interested in hacking this device and going with the wireless carrier of their choice instead of just "playing by the rules".  It’s because your "rules" are asinine.

When your exclusive deal with Apple runs out and I can run the iPhone on any wireless provider I choose, I will most likely choose another one instead of AT&T.  Perhaps they won’t make me run a virtual obstacle course just to use the device and service I’m paying for.

Sincerely,
Angry iPhone Customer

I recently picked up a second HDTV, this time for the family room.  It’s a very nice Philips 47 inch flat screen that we’ve really been enjoying.  The PS3 and Blu Ray/DVDs look great.

Comcast of course still looks like shit, but that’s not the TV’s fault.

So we’ve been frustrated for quite a while now with the Comcast "universal" DVR remote, and its lack of functionality with other components in our home theater setup.  With the introduction of this new TV and yet another control to deal with, I finally decided it was time to bite the bullet and pick up a Logitech Harmony universal remote.

If you’re not familiar with this line of products, they are simply the finest remote control devices ever invented.  Pricey?  Yes.  But worth every penny.

Each Harmony remote is like a mini computer.  They connect to your PC and download the functions of your electronics directly from the web.  All you have to do is tell the program the model numbers of your components.  You can then customize the remotes in any way you wish.  If any buttons from your previous remote are missing, the Harmony has a programmable LCD screen where you can add anything you want.  I had it up and running in no time, and tweaking the button functions afterwards took very little effort.

You can also set up what they call "activities".  Let’s say you want to watch a DVD.  You hit the "Watch DVD" button on the LCD screen and the remote will turn on all the appropriate devices and set them to the proper inputs/outputs. 

If you have three or more remotes to control your TV, cable and other components, you really owe it to yourself to pick up one of these bad boys.

So I got myself a new email machine over the weekend, as a reward for my two months of getting the hell out of my shithole apartment.  My old one was about to get flung into the street thanks to its lack of RAM and dwindling battery life anyway, which was making simple internet surfing and blogging a chore.

Now I have a super-spiffy new machine to run into the ground over the next few years.  Yaay!

It’s a Windows Vista machine.  I hear everyone hates Vista, but so far aside from the 24 straight hours of downloading and installing updates, I don’t have any big complaints.  Nitpicks though?  Yeah I got some of those.

For example in the control panel there is no longer an icon for "Add/Remove Programs".  That was too crazy simple and so it has been renamed as the much less helpful "Programs and Features".  This, of course, also bumps it way down the list in your control panel, which is sorted alphabetically.

My new laptop has a built-in webcam and so I was looking forward to installing Microsoft Netmeeting and harassing my friends at work.  Netmeeting is no longer included with Vista.  Instead they’ve replaced it with a program that doesn’t do videoconferencing at all.  Thanks for that.

Otherwise I think Vista is kinda neat.  It’s like the Mac guy and the PC guy had a baby.  How’s that mental image for ya?

Since the iPhone has been out a couple of months, I really don’t need to do any kind of in-depth review of my new toy.  You can find better reviews of the thing in dozens of better places. 

So this is really all I need to say about the iPhone: You know how when you see any tech gadget advertised on TV or in magazines and it looks like it does all sorts of cool things but in fact the advertisement has been doctored a little to "enhance" the product’s features?  How there’s always that little hint of disappointment because when you get the thing it doesn’t spin around and make whooshing sounds and kill ninjas and make waffles?

The iPhone does everything it does in those commercials.  That’s one of the reasons it’s such a badass gadget.  The commercials make it seem ridiculously cool, and it actually lives up to that.

I am blogging from my new iPhone, which my beautiful bride to be has just surprised me with. More about this awesome new toy on Monday!

If you’re part of the less than 2% of the home video market that gives a damn, you’re no doubt aware of the format battle going on right now between two competing High Definition DVD formats: HD DVD and Blu Ray.

I’d chosen HD DVD for my high def viewing pleasure, primarily because of cost.  HD DVD hardware is considerably cheaper than Blu Ray right now.

And of course, as things often go with me, it seemed for a time that I’d chosen the wrong horse.  Support for HD DVD was fledgling, and Blu Ray was picking up steam thanks to the release of the Playstation 3.  More and more studios were deciding to release products on Blu Ray only, and some experts predicted that HD DVD would fold as early as this Christmas.

But earlier this week, something totally unexpected happened.  Paramount / Dreamworks, who had been supporting both formats, suddenly aligned themselves exclusively with HD DVD, citing cheaper production costs, inexpensive players, and better brand loyalty.

The Blu Ray camp blew a gasket.

Boycotts of Paramount / Dreamworks products were called for.  Angry letters and phone calls were sent to executives and PR people.  Internet forums exploded in a frenzy of nerd outrage.  "How dare the HD DVD camp try to survive!  This was supposed to be over by the winter and we’d be winners!  They ruined it!  Sellouts!"

For whatever reason, people have attached themselves to the technology in this battle and not the movies.  Most high def participants are fiercely devoted to one side or the other, and everyone else is just staying out of it entirely.

But let me explain why this war continuing is a good thing.  Competition brings lower prices to the market faster.  If there had only been one format or the other, would we already have players as low as $180?  Would there be crazy good deals out there, where you can get up to *7* free movies with the purchase of a player?  Competition makes both sides work even harder to get our money, and consumers win as a result.

Also, combo units are on the horizon, and with the war continuing on like it is, they’ll most likely become the standard.  If you choose a side now, it’s unlikely that you’re going to come out on the losing end of anything.  Your discs won’t be obsolete if Blu Ray or HD DVD fold.  There should always be a way to play them (until the next big thing comes along, that is).

So everyone just chill out.  If you have a high def TV and love movies, get yourself one of the high def movie players.  Enjoy what’s out there.  Enjoy what’s coming.  Stop taking this stuff so seriously.

Too cold where you are today?  Want to picture yourself someplace warmer?

January 19th’s cool website of the day featured a webcam site where you can spy on beachgoers at Bucuti Beach in Aruba.  So go there and spy, why don’t you?  That’s right, you like to watch.

The Bucuti Beach Cam

One of my kickass Christmas gifts this year was a calendar with 365 weird, wild and wacky websites, one for each day of the year.

Some of them are interesting and some of them are lame (and some of them don’t even exist anymore). But once in a while there’s something pretty cool, and I’ll share some of the better ones with you guys and gals.

January 5th’s website was for the Virtual Lite Brite, which speaks for itself.  If you’ve got some time to waste, head on over and create something.